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A very crappy blog post

June 21, 2022 |

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I’m going to be upfront with you–things might get a little weird in this blog post, but I assure you it’s important.

If you’ve been a patient with us already, you know we looove to talk about it: Poop. Bowel movement. Feces. Whatever term you prefer, we’re here to be your official poo aficionados and help educate you on how your daily (or not so daily) habits are one of the biggest, cheapest indicators of your health. While a stool study will give us all of the nitty gritty scientific measurements of your poop, just a glance into the porcelain throne can give us “loads” of information as well (see what I did there?).

As your unofficial poop experts, here is what we expect to see from a textbook bowel movement:

  1. You need to be having one to two bowel movements each day–no more, no less. Poop is one of our biggest detoxification pathways, so frequency is important!
  2. It should sink, not float. Unless you’re eating an incredible amount of insoluble fiber, your poo should sink to the bottom of the toilet. If it’s not, it could be because you have too much fat in your stool. (Meaning you’re not breaking it down as you should.)
  3. You shouldn’t be straining. Passing stool should be easy, with little effort required. Additionally, it should definitely not be painful.
  4. Are you seeing identifiable food in your bowel movements? Red flag!! Food should be broken down, not passed through in big chunks.
  5. Are you ready for this one? Your poop should be formed, smooth, and long like a sausage. In fact, a complete stool should be wrist to elbow in length! (I know–not your typical dinner conversation. But like I said, important.) Hard rabbit turds and piles of mush are NOT normal.
  6. Sticky poop on the toilet, or having to wipe more than once? Also abnormal. This tells us there is a high level of inflammation in the bowel. You should be able to wipe just once and have pretty clean toilet paper. (I know this is all a bit much, but stay with me here.)
  7. Running to the bathroom after you eat the “wrong” thing? This is your gut begging you for help. Please don’t ignore it. Having to know where the closest bathroom is shouldn’t be necessary.
  8. Bloating, gas, discomfort (oh my!). While a small amount of non-smelly gas can be normal, stinky gas or large amounts of gas is NOT. You shouldn’t be waking up skinnier and going to bed looking 6 months pregnant when you’re eating all the “right” things. You also shouldn’t be able to clear a room with the after-effects of your dinner! (You know who you are.)

Have you reached your fill of poop-related content for the day? That’s fair.

We all do it (hopefully daily), but we never talk about it! This is your opportunity to do your own research of your bowel movements. Take a peek behind you next time you “drop the kids off at the pool”. (I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.) You just might find that your best detoxification method isn’t working so well!

Our providers are trained to use a DNA-based stool test to decode your bowel’s inner workings and get you feeling brand new. It’s also important to remember that bowel issues cause more than just bowel symptoms. Your hormone issues, headaches, rash, or autoimmune condition could actually be due to your bowels! If you found yourself checking boxes on the list above, it’s time to schedule an appointment. Jump over to our “Experience” page to become a patient today!

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